What are the Hindu wedding rituals, from kanyadan to saptapadi?

Grihya Sutras of the Rigveda (Ashvalayana)

Ashvalayana's manual opens the wedding with a plain rule: customs differ from country to country and village to village, and those customs are to be kept; the manual then gives only what is commonly accepted. Among the forms of marriage, it calls the "Brahma" wedding the one in which the father gives the girl, decked with ornaments, while pouring out water. This is the rite families call kanyadan.

At the fire, the groom takes the bride's hand "for the sake of happiness". He leads her three times round the fire and a water-pot, keeping them on their right, and says, "This am I, that art thou … the heaven I, the earth thou … may we live a hundred autumns." Each time she treads on a mill-stone: "like a stone be firm". Her brother pours parched grain into her joined hands, and she offers it in the fire. Then she takes seven steps to the north-east: for sap, for juice, for wealth, for comfort, for offspring, for the seasons, and "Be friend with seven steps". When she sees the pole star, Arundhati and the seven rishis, she breaks her silence with a wish for her husband's life and for children.

Sources for this reading

• Ashvalayana Grihya Sutra 1.6.1 and 1.7.1–2, in Hermann Oldenberg (tr.), The Grihya-Sutras, Part I (Sacred Books of the East, vol. 29, Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1886): the Brahma wedding, in which the father gives the girl “having decked her with ornaments, pouring out a libation of water”; “Now various indeed are the customs of the (different) countries and the customs of the (different) villages: those one should observe at the wedding.” Oldenberg died 1920: public domain. Checked on the page images. (pp. 166–167 (leaves n177–n178))
• Ashvalayana Grihya Sutra 1.7.3–22, in Oldenberg (tr.), SBE 29 (1886): the hand-taking, three rounds of the fire and water-pot with “This am I, that art thou”, the stone, the brother's fried grain, the seven steps (“For sap with one step … Be friend with seven steps”), and the pole star, Arundhati and the seven rishis. Public domain. Summarised in our words; checked on the page images. (pp. 167–170 (leaves n178–n181))

Grihya Sutras of the Samaveda and the White Yajurveda (Gobhila and Paraskara)

Other Veda schools keep the same core in a different order. In Gobhila's manual (Samaveda) the bride's mother or brother helps her tread on the stone, she is led round the fire three times, and then she takes the seven steps to the north-east, right foot first. Only after the steps does the groom take her hand with the six verses of hand-taking. Later he shows her the pole star and Arundhati, and she says, "Firm art thou", naming herself and her husband.

In Paraskara's manual (White Yajurveda) the bride treads on the stone, the couple go round the fire, the rite is done three times, and the fourth time she pours out all the grain. The seven steps follow, here to the north. These differences between the manuals are one reason why families and priests from different regions do the rite in different ways.

Sources for this reading

• Gobhila Grihya Sutra 2.2.3–16 and 2.3.8–12, in Hermann Oldenberg (tr.), The Grihya-Sutras, Part II (Sacred Books of the East, vol. 30, Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1892): the mother or brother and the stone; three rounds; the steps “in a north-easterly direction”, “her right foot (first)”; the hand-taking after the steps; the pole star and Arundhati, “Firm art thou”. Public domain. Pp. 46 and 48 checked on the page images; pp. 45 and 47 read in the archive.org OCR at the same leaf offset. (pp. 45–48 (leaves n88–n91))
• Paraskara Grihya Sutra 1.7.1–1.8.1, in Oldenberg (tr.), SBE 29 (1886): the stone, the rounds repeated, the fourth pouring of grain, and the seven steps “in a northern direction”. Public domain. P. 283 checked on the page image; 1.7.1 begins at the foot of p. 282. (pp. 282–283 (leaves n293–n294))

Dharmashastra (Manu)

The Laws of Manu list eight forms of marriage. The first, the Brahma rite, is "the gift of a daughter", decked and honoured, to a man learned in the Veda and of good conduct whom her father himself invites. Manu forbids the father to take any payment for his daughter, however small, and says that women must be honoured by their fathers, brothers, husbands and brothers-in-law: "Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased." For women, Manu calls the wedding the Vedic sacrament equal to the upanayana. And Manu holds that the wedding texts are complete with the seventh step; Bühler's note adds the commentators' reading that after the seventh step the marriage cannot be undone.

Sources for this reading

• Manu 3.27, in Georg Bühler (tr.), The Laws of Manu (Sacred Books of the East, vol. 25, Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1886): “The gift of a daughter, after decking her (with costly garments) and honouring (her by presents of jewels), to a man learned in the Veda and of good conduct, whom (the father) himself invites, is called the Brahma rite.” Bühler died 1898: public domain. Checked on the page image. (p. 80 (leaf n225))
• Manu 3.51–56, in Bühler (tr.), SBE 25 (1886): no father “must take even the smallest gratuity for his daughter”; a fee “be it small or great, is a sale”; women “must be honoured and adorned”; “Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased”. Public domain. Checked on the page images. (pp. 84–85 (leaves n229–n230))
• Manu 2.67, in Bühler (tr.), SBE 25 (1886): “The nuptial ceremony is stated to be the Vedic sacrament for women (and to be equal to the initiation)”. Public domain. Checked on the page image. (p. 42 (leaf n187))
• Manu 8.227, in Bühler (tr.), SBE 25 (1886): the nuptial texts “are complete with the seventh step (of the bride around the sacred fire)”, with Bühler's note: “After the seventh step has been made the marriage cannot be rescinded” (Medhatithi, Govindaraja, Kulluka, Narayana). Public domain. Checked on the page image. (p. 295 (leaf n440))

Family practice in Gujarat (about 1920)

Stevenson describes Gujarati Brahmin weddings and stresses that there are many local variations. In the kanyadan, the mother joins the father in the gift. The bride's parents wash the feet of bride and groom, honouring them as Shiva and Parvati. The father pours water from his hand, and the mother puts her hand on his shoulder to show that they give together. The father places the bride's right hand on the groom's right hand, and the gift is not complete until the mother says that she gives too. The priest recites the gotras of both families. The parents tell the groom that they give him their daughter and ask him to accept her, and the father asks the groom to act together with the bride in religion, in worldly affairs and in love, and above all to perform every religious rite with her. The groom answers that he will not act against her wishes. Stevenson notes that a wife is called sahadharmacharini, her husband's partner in dharma.

The couple go round the fire four times; the bride leads the first three rounds, and the groom leads the fourth. At the seven steps, made over seven small heaps of rice, the groom makes a promise with each step, from feeding her all her life to her well-being, and each time names Vishnu as witness. At the seventh he asks her to become his friend. Until the seven steps are taken, the marriage is not complete. Stevenson adds that seven steps round a fire also sealed lifelong friendships, as in the Ramayana story of Rama and Sugriva. By day the couple look at the sun; by night, at the pole star.

Sources for this reading

• Margaret Stevenson (Mrs Sinclair Stevenson), The Rites of the Twice-Born (London: Oxford University Press, 1920), chapter 4, “The wedding”: the many local variations and the mother's share in the gift (p. 78); the feet-washing as worship of Shiva and Parvati (pp. 79–80); the father's water, the mother's hand on his shoulder, the bride's hand on the groom's, the mother's words of giving, the gotras (pp. 80–81); the parents' words of giving, the father's charge, the groom's answer, and the note on sahadharmacharini (p. 83); four rounds, the bride leading the first three (p. 88); the seven steps, the friendship of Rama and Sugriva (p. 89); the seven heaps of rice and the groom's promises with Vishnu as witness (p. 90); the sun or the pole star (p. 91). Stevenson died in 1957 (Library of Congress name authority n86817364): the book is public domain in the US and India, but in copyright in the UK, the EU and Australia until December 31, 2027. Cited only: facts restated in our own words, nothing quoted; the author's own judgements are not repeated. Pp. 78, 83, 89 and 90 checked on the page images; the rest read in the archive.org OCR at the same leaf offset (p. N = leaf n(N+27)). (pp. 78–91 (leaves n105–n118))

Brahmin weddings in South India (records of 1891 and 1906)

Edgar Thurston, writing in Madras in 1906, quotes the census report of 1891 on the Brahmin wedding. On the wedding day the groom, dressed as a Vedic scholar with palm-leaf books and a bundle of rice, pretends to set out for Benares to live as an ascetic, and the bride's father meets him and asks him to accept his daughter's hand: here the journey to Kashi belongs to the wedding, not to the upanayana. The groom is entrusted with the bride, the fire (homam) is worshipped, and the groom ties the tali, the marriage badge, round the bride's neck. They go round the fire, and the groom places the bride's right foot on a mill-stone seven times. The report calls this saptapadi, "the essential and binding portion of the marriage ceremony", and the bride is asked to be as constant as the stone.

Sources for this reading

• Edgar Thurston, Ethnographic Notes in Southern India (Madras: Government Press, 1906), “Some marriage customs in Southern India”, quoting the “Census report, 1891”: the mock journey to Benares (“Kasiyatra”), the tali or bottu tied by the groom, and the bride's foot placed on a mill-stone seven times, “known as saptapadi (seven feet), and is the essential and binding portion of the marriage ceremony”. Thurston died 1935: public domain under the launch rule. Title page (leaf n6, “Madras … 1906”) and p. 1 checked on the page images. Summarised in our words. (p. 1 (leaf n14))

Telugu and Kannada Brahmin weddings (record of 1909)

Edgar Thurston's Castes and Tribes of Southern India (1909) records the wedding of Telugu Brahmins. After the mock pilgrimage to Kashi (kasiyatra), the bride and the groom sit facing each other on the dais with a screen between them. The screen is lowered just before the groom ties the bottu, a round gold marriage badge, on the bride's neck. At once the couple throw rice over each other, and those present pour rice on their heads: this is talambralu. Both wear clothes dyed with turmeric until the day of nagavali.

Telugu and Kannada Brahmins keep the nagavali on the fourth or fifth day. Thirty-two lamps and two vessels that stand for Shiva and Parvati are set out in a square, with a thread soaked in turmeric passed round it. The couple worship, cut the thread and sit inside the square, and the groom ties a tali of black glass beads on the bride's neck, before small pots that stand for all the gods.

Sources for this reading

• Edgar Thurston, assisted by K. Rangachari, Castes and Tribes of Southern India, vol. I (Madras: Government Press, 1909), “Brahman”: the Telugu Brahman wedding, with the bottu, the screen lowered before it is tied, and “Talambralu” (p. 357); the “Nāgavali” of “the Telugu and Carnataka Brāhmans”, on the fourth or fifth day (p. 291). Thurston died 1935: public domain. Summarised in our words. (pp. 291 and 357 (leaves n408 and n482), checked on the page images)

Sources

• Ashvalayana Grihya Sutra 1.6–7 and Paraskara Grihya Sutra 1.7–8, in Hermann Oldenberg (tr.), The Grihya-Sutras, Part I (SBE 29, Oxford, 1886). Public domain. (pp. 166–170 and 282–283 (leaves n177–n181, n293–n294))
• Gobhila Grihya Sutra 2.1–3, in Hermann Oldenberg (tr.), The Grihya-Sutras, Part II (SBE 30, Oxford, 1892). Public domain. (pp. 43–48 (leaves n86–n91))
• Manu 2.67, 3.20–56 and 8.227, in Georg Bühler (tr.), The Laws of Manu (SBE 25, Oxford, 1886). Public domain. (pp. 42, 80, 84–85 and 295 (leaves n187, n225, n229–n230, n440))
• Margaret Stevenson, The Rites of the Twice-Born (London: Oxford University Press, 1920), chapter 4, “The wedding”. Cited only (the author died in 1957); facts restated in our own words. (pp. 58–95 (leaves n85–n122))
• Edgar Thurston, Ethnographic Notes in Southern India (Madras, 1906), “Some marriage customs in Southern India”. Public domain under the launch rule. (p. 1 (leaf n14))
• Pujadeep calendar: this page gives no date. A vivah muhurat is chosen by the family priest; any date Pujadeep shows comes only from its calendar.

Samskaras and family rites

Muhurat rules for this rite, and windows for your city. Every date is computed by our calendar, with its rule and source named. The family priest’s choice comes first.

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